Gaseous Emissions and Arrogance May 26, 2008
Posted by zontarthemagnificent in Current Farts, Farting Contests, Political Farts.Tags: arrogance, barack hussein obama, barak obama, bill clinton, candidates, clinton, conspiracy to assasinate obama, definition of arrogance, different kinds of farts, digestive tract, earthlings, egomaniac, election 2008, fart, fart session, farting, farting competition, farting contest, farting match, flatulence, gaseous emissions, glabrob, hillary clinton, hillary farting, hillary makes weak farts, hillary vs obama, hillary wants obama killed, hubris, humility, is obama arrogant, melodious emissions, mud-slinging, obama, obama assasination, obama farting, obama farts better than hillary, obama has confidence, obama is arrogant, obama is superior, obama the better farter, plan to assasinate obama, political rhetoric, politics, presidential debate, presidential election, slick willie, superiority complex, the clintons, the sin of arrogance, variety of farts, videos, voice of reason, xenonian, xenonian fart session, zontar
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Greetings Earthlings!
Your impartial Xenonian observer of your political process was engaged in his (typical) tireless search for Truth today, mulling over the vicious race between Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama when his breakfast came back to haunt him. Glabrob, while yummy, has an unfortunate effect on ones digestive tract. Zontar happily had his tape recorder running to capture the results of his gassy morning and he thought he would like to share:
Zontar was justifiably proud and wanted to share with Earth the sounds of a true Xenonian fart session. Then Zontar pondered: “Zontar!”, I asked myself, “Wouldn’t your boasts about your flatulence be misconstrued as arrogance”? Zontar was deeply troubled. To calibrate his brilliant mind, he went back to the beginning and double checked the meaning of the word “arrogance”. English is Zontar’s 632,333,232 language, and he wanted to be sure of himself. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/arrogance
arrogance
- Pronunciation:
- \ˈer-ə-gən(t)s, ˈa-rə-\
- Function:
- noun
- Date:
- 14th century
: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions
Zontar read carefully into this definition. Was Zontar arrogant? Do not mistake Zontar for an egomaniac! He will readily admit to any flaws in his character. Just because he hasn’t found any yet doesn’t mean that they may not exist. However, I honestly can say my pride in my melodious emissions was not hubris but justifiable. I merely wanted to share with the rest of Earth. That case is closed!
Then it dawned on Zontar that of late, Mr. Obama has been pilloried in the press and on the sphere of blogdom for the sin of Arrogance. Comparing candidates, Zontar must admit that Mr. Obama does have an “attitude of superiority”. He is superior. His intelligence is several notches above Mrs. Clinton’s. If she had an ounce of sense she would have never uttered her fervent wish for an unfortunate accident to occur to Mr. Obama in June. Zontar knew for many months prior of her wish. (Zontar having the preternatural gift of mind reading). To be entirely fair, it is not her fault. All of her major strategies and utterances have come from her husband, William. Zontar always mistrusted this man, and with good reasons. Zontar has uncovered a candid photo of him just after awakening and before he had a chance to ready himself for the day.
It occurred to Zontar that it is unfair to judge Mrs. Clinton’s intelligence, or lack thereof on her alone, as she has surrendered her will and soul completely to the machinations of William. But vilifying Mr. Obama as being arrogant seems most unfair, simply because he happens to have a brain and a mind of his own. Zontar, frankly has tired of the mud-slinging and endless rhetoric of this campaign. It has gone on entirely too long and Zontar is now bored. Then a brainstorm hit Zontar while expunging his Glabrob upon the commode: Let’s settle the election here and now. I present to you Madame Clinton and Mr. Obama in a truly meaningful debate. I urge you to watch both videos so you can make an informed decision:
Now observe Mr. Obama in action:
It is patently obvious Mr. Obama is the winner. His fart was bold and confident. He made no apologies for it. Whereas Mrs. Clinton was ashamed. It was a weak emission. She tried to pretend that it didn’t happen. But her audience knew, and now you, my loyal minions know as well.
Paid for by the Zontar for Supreme Being of All Universe Committee. Zontar has approved this message.
Hail Loyal Minions!
Hail Truth!!
Hail Zontar!!!
Zontar, The Fart Master! 