Who Am I?

Call me Zontar. I was born many years ago on Xenon, a lovely planet in the houyhnmian galaxy, approximately 3000 trillion light years from planet Earth. I excelled in Dominoes as a youngster and was named top champion for all galaxies as a tot. I grew up into a beautiful young alien and married 34,223 beautiful wives, all of whom are extremly fertile and blessed me with 158,233 children.

Who I’d like to meet:
I’ve already met everyone.

Zontar’s Interests

General: Binging, purging, playing with matches.

Music: Xenonian heavy metal

Movies: I Married an Alien, Mars Needs Women. War of the Worlds

Television: Alien Or No Alien, Everyone Loves Zontar, Alien in the Family, America’s Next Top Alien, One Alien vs. One Hundred

Books: A Tale of Two Aliens, Encyclopedia Xenonia

Zontar’s Details

Status: Swinger

Here for: Networking, Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends

Orientation: Straight

Hometown: Xenonia

Body type: 0′ 1″ / Some extra baggage

Ethnicity: Other

Religion: Scientologist

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Smoke / Drink: Yes / Yes

Children: Proud parent

Education: High school

Occupation: Intergalactic Philosopher,Poet and Playboy

Income: $250,000 and Higher

Zontar’s Schools

Oxford and Cherwell College
Banbury, United Kingdom

Graduated: N/A

Student status: Alumni
Degree: Ph.D.
Major: Alienology
Greek: Mu Mu Mu

1950 to 2010: Harvard University
Cambridge, MA
Graduated: 1950
Student status: Alumni

Degree: Ph.D.
Major: Penology
Minor: Vaginal Studies
Clubs: Anti-social Behavior Society
Greek: Phi Beta Kappa

1950 to 2010

Zontar’s Companies

Xenonian Mafia
Xenonia, Xenon EH
Enforcer / Maintenance
2006-235,22333

Alien In the Box
Dog Death, Texas US
Assistant to Assistant Night Manager / E Coli Control
March 2, 2006-March 3,2006

AOL (Aliens on Line)
Fairfax, Virginia US
Head Rectum / Making it F****ing Impossible to Stop Your Service
9:00 a.m. January 18-10:31 a.m 2003

Hooter’s
Mumbai, SA
Head Waiter / Showed off alien boobs to all
1923-1982